Category Archives: Uncategorized

Sissy ToDo List: 55 Ways to Go Fuck Yourself

Ok Sissy, you clearly can’t get enough of that deep down, depraved sissy fucking.

sissy fuck it list You want it any way you can get it.  Lucky for you, there are so many ways to get your sissy needs, and your sissy holes, filled.

Here’s a starter list of ways to go fuck yourself.   It also works well as a list of things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

  You’re welcome, Sissy.

 

Sissy Fuckit List

  1. Shove a finger up your ringer
  2. Stuff it in a pocket pussy
  3. Pop a pen in your pooper
  4. With a hair brush handle up your hairy hole
  5. Boogie with a banana up your butt
  6. Back up to a butt plug
  7. Get it on with a glue stick
  8. Make out with a medicine bottle
  9. Zip a zucchini up that ass
  10. Lube up a lipstick tube
  11. Pump your dick between the pillows
  12. Corn-hole with a candy cane
  13. Spoon with a spoon handle
  14. Dildo your dung hole
  15. Cut a love tunnel into a honeydew
  16. Fist your dick
  17. Sit on a soda Bottle
  18. Cuddle with a carrot
  19. Flush out that cum with a toilet brush handle
  20. Cuddle with a candle
  21. Get baseball bat in your dugout
  22. Go dogging with some doggie toys
  23. Pop a popsicle in your pooper
  24. Make it with a marker
  25. Frig a flashlight
  26. Pound on a hammer handle
  27. Get it on with a condom filled with gelatin
  28. Shuck a shaver handle
  29. Cum with a cucumber
  30. Buddy up to a broom handle
  31. Stick it to a lubed up rubber glove
  32. Hum with a vibrator
  33. Cum on a condom filled with water and frozen
  34. Travel with a mini shampoo bottle
  35. Roll up with a roll of coins
  36. Cozy up to the couch cushions
  37. Ketchup with a condiment bottle
  38. Be all about the anal beads
  39. Perfume your ass with a cologne bottle
  40. Tug it with a Tenga
  41. Lay a PVC pipe
  42. Love a lint roller
  43. Fuck a Fleshlight
  44. Take a toothbrush handle
  45. Sit on a Summer squash
  46. Catch an orgasm with a fishing rod handle
  47. Cornhole yourself with a Corn cob
  48. Do a douche nozzle
  49. Screw a screwdriver handle
  50. Wave on a Magician’s Wand
  51. Sink a model submarine
  52. Slip the soap up there.
  53. Inflatable dong
  54. Beat off with a bratwurst
  55. Cum on a cock!

 

If you need more ideas, you could always check me out on Niteflirt.

Now go, be fruitful, ya fruity sissy fuck.  And have a happy Thanksgiving.

 

Open Letter to a Wannabe Sissy Idiot

Sissy Idiot Attention Seeking

Sissy Idiot LetterAs the world is full of idiots, my world is home to the sissy idiot.

As you can imagine, I get my fair share of fan mail.  It’s always nice to hear from admirers and most are mature and respectful.  I have a great time chatting with people who share my interests and anyone who follows my Twitter or my Tumblr (NSFW… AT ALL) can see how often I chat with sissies. (Go ahead, message me for yourself and see.)

That said, there are a certain number of people determined to be a sissy idiot.  These people lack any sense of personal accountability.  Even to the extent that they won’t own what turns them on.

I get that sex is an awkward subject for many people and it can be embarassing.  I understand that religious morality sometimes conflicts with personal sexuality.

What I don’t get is people who try to pretend they’re not sissies, even while they’re surfing the sissy sites.  Why contact a sissification mistress only to feign disinterest in it?

Doing things like this makes you a sissy idiot.

When you take so many steps to explore sissification, it’s hard to pretend you don’t want it. We can all see through that lie like a pair of sheer stockings.

And making a big deal about how you don’t want to be seduced into it, when nobody has tried to seduce you?  Well, that’s just being an attention whore.

When people message me and say “I’m not into this, but tell me how you’d do it,” my answer is always “telling you how I’d do it is what I charge for.”   You may as well say “I’m not interested in buying the book, but tell me the story.”

Sissy Idiot Disappointment

I have to be honest.  If you’re into the whole “truck me/force me” roleplay, I’ll disappoint you.  I don’t care to tempt any person into anything.  If you want what I’m selling, I’m happy to offer it. If you don’t, I respect that.  I don’t care to push my brand of kink on anyone.  Just like I don’t want anyone pushing their kind of strange on me.  I’m sorry, but I just don’t care any more than I care if you like tea while I like coffee.  We don’t all have to drink from the same damned cup.

Most importantly, I don’t care.

I have thousands of customers.  If I just let them know I have new sissy mp3s out, they will buy. Why would I spend time trying to convince one person to buy anything?

Look, there are plenty of people who are into the whole “seduce and destroy” kink.  I’m not one of them.  No shade to those who like it.  It’s just not my thing.

If that’s what you’re looking for, I wish you the best of luck in finding it.  I don’t think you’ll have much trouble. There are plenty of very talented Mistresses on Niteflirt.

Go get ’em.