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5 Best Male Sex Toys For Boy Toys

The Male Sex Toys for Boys Shopping List

One of my favorite pets is on his way to the store tonight to buy  himself some male sex toys to use while he listens to my mp3s.  Before he made any decisions though, he naturally asked my advice on the matter.

Of course, being a Sissy Mistress means I’ve had my fair share of experience with male sex toys and so I’ve established some strong opinions and established some solid favorites.. here they are.

Mistress’ Favorite Male Sex Toys

  1.  The Ryder by Tantus

Tantus male sex toysI love Tantus… aside from making the Feeldoe, my all time favorite toy for couples, they have a full line of male sex toys made from %100 medical grade silicone with FDA approved pigments.  What that means for your sexual health is that it’s phthalate free, safe to put in your body, and can be sterilized with boiling or bleaching.

What that means for your experience is that it is firm enough to penetrate  you without bending like a limp noodle, but soft enough to have a little give.  It doesn’t have any weird perfume smell and it won’t  irritate your tender tush.

tantusThe Ryder is three inches tall with about a two inch bulb and it’s about an inch thick.  While that’s on the bigger end of medium for a butt plug, once inserted, the rounded top combined with the firm give of the silicone creates a pleasantly full feeling without discomfort.   I know from extended research and personal experience that it’s a comfortable plug for extended length insertion.

I’m a huge fan of this plug, and I’m not alone.  I once saw that another Mistress had created an adorable little Tantus Ryder cell phone charm.. talk about a ringing endorsement.. no pun intended. (Ok, maybe just a little bit intended.)

2. The Booty Glove by Saporno Brothers Inc.

more male sex toysFor once, you won’t have to sit on your hand until it’s numb to feel like you’re getting a handy from another person.  The Booty Glove is thick enough to simulate the experience for your hand, while giving your cocklet a textured treat.

So far as I can tell, the Booty Glove is the only thing Soporno Brothers makes, and I have to hand it to them for specializing.

With nubbed fingers, a ribbed palm, and a tight little mouth added to the webbing between the thumb and index finger, you’ll have all sorts of fun jerking and fingering.  It’s textured on both sides, so you can use it for whichever hand you prefer.

It’s made of Thermo Plastic Rubber (TPR) which is non-toxic and phthalate free.  That means it’s softer and stretchier than silicone, so it will flex as you do.. but it also means it’s a little more porous, so care should be taken to clean it with anti-bacterial soap.  You can NOT sterilize it with boiling water, to you may want to slip a condom over one of those nubbly little fingers if you’re going to use it for insertion.

I love this toy for its versatility, though if I had one wish, it wouldbe that the mouth were a little more open.  It would take a real pencil dick to be able to fuck that tiny mouth hole.  ..On second though, it should be fine for you.

3. The Tube by Doc Johnson

Fuck the Fleshlight.  Or better yet, fuck the Tube.

the tube packageThis toy is seriously the most under appreciated pocket pussy I’ve ever come across.  It’s got a tight fit that will squeeze even the slimmest pencil dick, but it has enough stretch to take a pounding from the most well endowed stud who’s probably fucking your wife right now.

When it comes to male sex toys, Fleshlight has got nothing on this cock hole, and at under $20 bucks, you can buy your own fucking flashlight to hide it in and tons of extra batteries so you can see the mess you have to clean up after, too.

 

 

This toy is so simple and sooooo tubesideeffective for teasing the fuck out of anyone with a dick.  It’s just a plain, tight tube with ribbing inside it.. but those ribs are defined enough to make you feel every one of them as they slide over your shaft and cock head.  It’s like packing twenty, tightly gripping strokes into each jerk.

I use it all the time for edging, because it can seriously bring a guy from zero to near orgasm in just seconds.  Even my most stoic and hard to impress stud goes weak in the knees for this toy.

It’s another toy made of phthalate free Thermo Plastic Elastomer so it’s soft and stretchy but again, should only be cleaned with antibacterial soap or a sex toy cleaner.

4. G-Force by Tantus

g forceA milked prostate is a healthy prostate, and while I’m a rather handy milk maid that way, it’s not always easy for men to manage it on their own.  Soooo.. back to my favorite sex toy manufacturer with the G-Force by Tantus.  After all, what would a talk about male sex toys be without a mention of prostate massagers?

The G-Force is made of the medical grade silicone I’m so happy with and has about the same firmness and pliability at the Ryder.  I say “about the same”because while they’re made of the same material, the length and width of the G-Force seems to allow for a little more give along the shaft, which is to be expected.

The angle and the handle make for convenient self-milking and allows my slutty little fuck-subs to fuck themselves from a more relaxed position.

It’s 10″ long and about 1.4” wide at the bulb and handle.  A nice, good size for massaging without stretching too far.

For cleaning, boil, bleach, or throw it in the dishwasher.. though, you might want to check with whoever unloads the dishes, first.

5.  Miracle Massager Accessory- For Him by California Exotics

massagerLast but not least, we have.. well, half of a sex toy, really.  The Miracle Massager-For Him is more of an attachment than the sex toy itself.

The Massager Accessory is a textured sleeve attached to a cup that fits on the bulb head of a Hitachi Magic Wand.

Magic_Wand_Original_HV-260_packaging

The first reason I like it is because it gives men a taste of what women enjoy when they play with what is arguably the best fucking sex toy ever invented in the history of sex… EVER!  Did I say arguably?  Scratch that.. anyone who would argue is demented.

This Miracle Massager Accessory turns this blessing from the gods of electric into a make sex toy that slides over the cock and gives it a good, strong, buzzzzzzzzz!

The second reason I love this toy is because, let’s face it, I’m a Sissy Mistress and there’s not alot that’s girlier than getting off with a magic Wand.

The slight drawback that put this lovely little thing is that it’s a bit of an investment, between the wand and the attachment.. and then, it may be too powerful a vibration for some people, in which case, you could invest in a speed controller.  But after all that, you may find the sleeve is a little wide for your cock if you’re below average, or even average width.  It’s just a little too much of a gamble if you’re not already sure you’ll like it.

But.. if you have access to a wand, or if you already know you love vibrator play, this fucker is for you.. and it most certainly is for me.

Oh.. and this is a TPR toy.

Where to find these male sex toys of which I speak?

While I believe all of these male sex toys are available on Amazon, you’ll notice I’ve also included links to the actual manufacturers.  While some of the companies have shops on Amazon, I believe it’s always a case of buyer beware when it comes to things you’re putting in your body.  If you don’t want to buy directly form the manufacturer because you found the product cheaper elsewhere, that’s fair enough, but you might want to check if the place you’re looking at is an authorized seller so that you don’t end up with a cheap knock-off of a good quality product. ..after all, that’s my ass you’re fucking.  Don’t fuck it up.

 

Fucked Like a Girl?

ffmailI just had someone ask me MP3s  that take a sissy through the experience of being fucked like a girl and since it’s a question I’ve had before, I thought I’d post a short list here.

Now admittedly, some of these focus more on being a girly cocksucker than fucker.. but somehow, I think you’ll like them just as well, you dirty, dirty girly-man.

Enjoy.

DREAM WEDDING: FEMINIZING HYPNOSIS MP3

I know how badly you wish to be a proper sissy and a real girl. That’s why I’ve worked so hard to bring you all those feminine experiences in my feminizing hypnosis mp3s, from school-girl crushes, slumber parties and developing breasts, to learning a sissified trade like being a maid or a secretary, or even just going out for a day at the spa. You’ve gotten to experience them all through my little recordings, haven’t you pet? You’ve even gotten to losing your virginity to me… and then to a man.. and then to a few men.

But one experience has escaped you so far in all these feminizing hypnosis mp3s, And it’s a big one in a sissy-boy’s life. It’s her wedding day. What could be more enticing to your sissy soul than that most feminine and exquisite of dresses, the wedding gown? You and I both know that in your sissified heart of hearts, your dream wedding would feature you as the bride. Well here’s your chance, Petal.. Just close your eyes, take a deep, relaxing breath, and join me. Come walk down the aisle to you sissy destiny and say “I do” to the wedding night in today’s feminizing hypnosis mp3.

SUCKING SORORITY SISSY: FEMINIZING HYPNOSIS MP3

Is there any woman bitchier than a popular girl? The whips and ropes of the most sadistic of Dommes can seem like fluffy bunny kisses when placed along side the kind of Machiavellian machinations of a sorority sister who’s jockeying for power and social status. Frankly, I find it inspiring. This weeks sissifying hypnosis mp3 takes you into a dream where you become a sorority pledge, charged with keeping the fellow fraternity house entertained. Will you make it through the humping and the hazing to become a sister of Omega Pi? Or will you puss out and never, but never, have a social life during your college career? I think we both know the answer to that, you sissy cocksucker. You can’t wait to prove yourself and become one of the popular sluts. All you have to do is click and pay the $20 for this 20 minute femminizing hypnosis mp3.

COCK B GONE: CUMMING WITH YOUR CUNT FEMINIZING HYPNO-FETISH MP3:

You’ve heard it countless times about the superior pleasure of the female orgasm and envied women their intense, long lasting, and recurring orgasms. It’s all a part of why it’s so much better to be us than you.. and now, thanks to your beloved Mistress Shayna, you too can experience the powerful pleasure of the female orgasm.. all you have to surrender is your manhood.. and that’s not so very much to ask now is it?

THE FEMININE PATH: FEMINIZING HYPNOSIS MP3:

a little break from the norm. Instead of taking you through a dream world of sissification and forced faggotry, this little gem is a simple deepener and intensifier to bring out your inner girl as you sleep. It’s intended to play on a loop as you sleep, so that not a minute of your day is wasted in shaping you toward your girly goals. There’s no real beginning, and certainly no end to the feminization you’ll experience through the night as you listen to this 10 minute MP3 on a loop, taking you continuously deeper and deeper into that blissfully feminine state. After a night of listening to this feminizing hypnosis MP3, you’ll find it harder and harder to ignore those teasing, tingling, girly tendencies that have already begin to fill your thoughts.

 

SEASON”A CHANGE, FEMINIZING HYPNOSIS MP3

A little change of season, a little change of gender, but you’ll still bust a nut in the feminizing hypnosis mp3. Cum and get ‘em while they’re hot. Even without you’re balls, it’s a damned fine day for being a mind slave.

hypno-fetish

Tough Calls on Girls with Balls

Bouncing Girls with Balls

Girls with Balls  As many of you know , I’m involved in a few sissy communities.  One of them is the Google+ community called Sissies where I’m the owner and, usually, the only moderator.  I’m pleased and proud of that little project.  It’s grown to about 5,000 members and it’s always active.   That’s a lot of balls in the air, and a lot of girls with balls.

Being an active community, people post pictures every day and for the most part, it’s a smooth ride.  They seem to know Google’s community standards, or have at least had a good guess that there’s no nudity or sexually explicit content allowed.  A lot of sissies and subby gurls are just there to show off photos of their latest sissy outfit, and the rest of us are happy to see them.

Sissy principles being what they are, though, the clothes can sometimes be a little bit slutty, and most everyone wants to show off their panties…  You slutty, slutty sissies, you.  That’s fine, though.  In the last few years, I’ve been allowing it and Google hasn’t shut me down.

But I’ve recently had a conundrum on my hands.  Sometimes, girls with balls are also girls with man-boobs.

I’ve recently had people posting images of themselves in sheer bras, or with their shirts open.  So this now begs the question when do man-boobs become just plain boobs, and how big do boobs have to be before they’re subject to censorship?

My first instinct is to recognize that this is clearly a man’s chest and so I should let it stay, right?   Because Google doesn’t have a problem with men’s chests, even if they’re as big as most women’s out there.

But then I recalled a gorgeous transwoman named  Courtney Demone.  If you haven’t heard of her, you should give her a  Google, a Bing,  a Yahoo, or whatever you give when you want to have an online look-see.

About the time Courtney began her hormone replacement therapy, she started a campaign to challenge gender specific censorship by posting images of herself topless with the hashtag #DoIHaveBoobsNow to see when social media sites would begin flagging her images as being unsuitable.  It turned out her pictures were fine, until they realized she identifies as female, at which point the same images that had been up and unchallenged for months, were suddenly subject to censorship.

Why is this my (and perhaps your) problem?

The way this impacts me, is that in my capacity as moderator of a social media community, it’s my responsibility to not only decide what I deem to be too adult, but also try to predict what others might find objectionable.

Personally, I’m a #FreeTheNipple kinda gal.. there’s probably no surprise there.  With enough age verification and warnings posted before adult content is visible, I’d love it if consenting adults could share their freaky fun with the world.  But I don’t get to make up those rules.

To be honest, I think Google probably wouldn’t challenge me on it if I allowed a moob in a sheer bra to show up in the community.

But here’s the rub, Google has decided that they don’t want visible girl nips.  That’s Google’s right to decide and I agreed to live by those rules and enforce them in my community.

So, even if the nipples showing in my community were born male, shouldn’t I be treating them as female if they’re presenting as female?

I realize that most of my sissies are straight men in girl clothes.  They’re no more female than a dog is a human for the time it’s wearing a sweater.  (And yes, it’s very unoriginal to compare men to dogs, but the comparison works.)

Not all of my sissies are men though.  Some are trans-women, some are gender fluid, and at the very least, if they identify as male, during the act of cross-dressing, they’re expressing their feminine tendencies.

So, after all that explaining, I’ve come to the conclusion that the best way to respect and honor my sissies is to discriminate against their femininity.

If you want to be treated like a girl, for however long.. I’ll treat you like a girl, and block your nip-slip from the community.

Welcome to the club, ladies and lady-ishes.

Sissies and Trans women

Sissies or what?

I recently had a question from someone who asked “So are you a girl who likes turning guys into sissies or what?  Just wondering.  I’m transsexual.”

This question isn’t an unusual one, but it’s different in that it came from a trans woman, and I thought it brought up an interesting conversation about what I do, and also, about the differences between sissies an trans-women, and where they overlap.

How do I love Sissies?

forced sissification storiesI love to play with sissies, but it must be pointed out that  I don’t “turn them” so much as I help them explore the sissy desires they already have.

Given the nature of sexual submission and the fantasized notion of mind control through hypnosis, I understansd that many people enjoy fantasie of being forced to do things they secretly really, really want to do.  To some extent, it can release people from the responsibility of making a choice which is awkward for them.  But make no mistake.. they’ve already made that choice before they called me.  I’m very clear about what I do and what audience I cater to.  Nobody ends up being exposed to my stories and recordings by accident.

Still, I fully understand that the nature of a submissive enjoys the feeling of another person being in control.  And so stories of “forced” feminization for forced faggotization are popular.  I’m happy to cater to those fantasies, so long as everyone understands, they’re only fantasies.

What about Sissies and Trans Women?

For clarification, my definition of sissy means both effeminate and sexually submissive.  Sissy play isn’t exclusively about the erotic, but to me, getting the libido involved is what takes dressing girly from simply crossdressing to being a transvestite.. and the submissive element is what makes a transvestite into a sissy.

Not every person has the same definition, but I think I’ve hit on a common one, if not the only one, as it pertains to the sissy fetish.

As for  trans-women, I like them as well as any other women, but speaking in a really generalized way, trans-women aren’t sissies, they’re just women.  Even if they’re submissive, telling a trans-woman “good girl” won’t have the same sting of humiliation because you can’t emasculate a woman.

With all that said, it bares repeating that I do like trans-women (and trans-men) and I have had a number of trans-women for both submissives and also as my partners in Alpha-Couple type situations.

Truth be told though, my interest in trans-women may seem inflated to anyone who views my tumblr blog. I repost alot of images of trans-women with big, hard cocks because sissies have major appeal to the sissy community.  They’d  fetishized trans-women as being hyper feminine while still retaining the core of their masculine sexual pleasure. A huge number of sissies also like to fantasize about sucking a cock, but don’t want to go tumbling into fully homosexual porn and erotica.

It’s a bit of a mixed bag for trans-women, because fetishization can go hand in hand with objectification.  But then, it also encourages exposure, which leads to normalization.   Either way, being objectified by men is a very female experience, so it can be seen by some trans-women as one of those dubious wins.

I will acknowledge that my catering to this fetish could reasonably be seen as my being part of the problem.  I would respect anyone who thought so.  But I would also refuse to change.. because in the end, I think fantasy is healthy.  Even when it’s a fantasy that’s not very sensitive to diversity or political correctness.  I don’t have a problem with people who have what some might see as distasteful fantasies.  I just have a problem with people who don’t know the difference between fantasy and reality.

Besides, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.. your erection does not necessarily define your world view.  But fair warning, if your erection makes you seem like kind of a douche bag, I’ll be watching  see how well the rest of you confirms what your dick is implying.

There ya go.. a very long answer for a very short question.. but also a subject I’m keen on.

Thank you for asking.

Alien Sissy from Outer Space! RIP David Bowie

An Alien Sissy Made Me A Mistress

Alien SissyLike most people on the planet now, I’m too young to have been around when that alien sissy known as Ziggy Stardust hit the scene with his androgynous look and his undisguised bisexuality. And I was pretty damned young when the Goblin King paired huge hair with a huge codpiece and sprinkled a ton of glittery fairy dust in between.

I don’t know of any budding, young kinkstress who didn’t fall a little in love with him at the line “I ask for so little; just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave.” (Pause for a moment, please. Mistress has to swoon.)

But perhaps more importantly to me, isn’t the influence he had directly, but the influence he had on the people who influenced me. He really brilliant and influenced so many artists, writers, and musicians with his look, sound. lyrics, and candor. And because I’m a Sissy Mistress, my focus will naturally come back to the way he explored the fluidity that can be gender and sexuality.

No Original Ideas?  So  Fucking What?

Now, obviously, my favorite alien sissy isn’t the first person to have done it. People had done it before him and people have done it since… Truth be told, while I like Bowie, and love some of his song, I’ve never considered myself a fan.  But you’ll be hard pressed to find anyone under seventy who plays with gender roles who wasn’t influenced by him, either directly, or indirectly.

The New York Dolls, The Eurythmics, Divine, RuPaul, Richard O’Brien(Creator if Rocky Horror Picture Show,) Boy George, Madonna, Laverne Cox, Lady Gaga, and most importantly; my best friend from childhood,  are just a few of the people I can think of off the top of my head who have acknowledged Bowie’s interest on them.

Whether you were a fan, or just the fan of a fan, we all owe him a debt of gratitude for stepping up to take a part in the evolution of gender perception and sexual acceptance.

In the closet or out of the closet, the world is a slightly friendlier place to be a sissy these days.. And that’s in part because of Bowie and those he impacted.

You still may not be able to come out of the closet in your small, country town, but you can come talk to me.. and because of that, you’re life is vastly improved, now isn’t it? 😀

Call MistressShayna for phone sex on Niteflirt.com

RIP David Bowie

A Thankful Sissy Mistress

A disclaimer about today’s sissy post:

Today’s post isn’t the usual fare of sissy-specific musings, so if you’re particularly focused on that, you can head over to a sissy story for entertainment.  I won’t hold it against you.

Now for a sissy Mistress’ gratitude.

Ok Sissy bois, I have a confession to make, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.  Not because of the food (though, I’m spoiled enough to have the most amazing chef do the cooking each year,) or the football (even though the players’ butts look so cute in those tight little pants they wear,) or because it’s the start of the shopping season and I fucking *love* to shop.. no.. those are all good reasons to appreciate the day, but the real reason I like the holiday, is because it celebrates the good things we have in our lives.

I know, I know, it doesn’t sound very greedy and cut-throat bitch of me to say such a thing, but it’s true.   For the most part, I’m agnostic, but I can’t help but think it’s one of the greatest sins to fail to appreciate what we have.

Some of you will have heard me say “it’s always good to be me.”  It’s an answer I give every time someone asks me how I am.  It sounds like an arrogant thing to say, and I’m fine with that perception.  After all, I’m a mind fucking sissy Mistress and I have a bad-ass reputation to keep up, right.   Still, it’s not said with arrogance, but rather with a sense of humility and gratitude.  I feel exceptionally blessed to have all that I do so to celebrate my favorite holiday with some of my favorite sissies, I thought I’d take a break from my strictly sissy pursuits on this site and share some of the things I’m thankful for.

So sissies, in no particular order, here they are.

1)      Despite my debauched leanings and sissy making tendencies, I’m very thankful for some more traditional romance.  I’m glad to live in a world where people are romantic enough to propose with a flash-mob.  If you’ve never seen the viral video entitled Isaac’s Live Lip Dub Proposal, you’re missing out.  This guy got over sixty of his friends together to help him propose to his girlfriend in a dance number lip synched to Bruno Mars’ I Wanna Marry You.  I almost hate to confess that whenever I see this, I get a bit misty-eyed.  Not so much for the proposal, but for all the friends who spent time rehearsing and cleared their schedule to do something wonderfully extraordinary for the couple.

2)      Which brings me to my next item on the list, I’m thankful for good friends and other sissy Mistresses.  Those people who forgive me for never calling them back, laugh with me about life in general, and understand the trade-offs we sometimes make to be in this sissy business we love.

3)      I’m so thankful for strap-on porn and all the sissy and pegging videos I post to my sissy tumblr stream.

4)      I’m thankful for coffee..  oh god.. so thankful for coffee.  And caramel, too.. oh and when you put caramel in coffee?  Yeah, I’m thankful for that.  I think I’m gonna have to go hump my favorite barista now.  If I had a sissy who could make me a good caramel latte, I think I’d let her move in.

5)      I’m thankful to be able to do what I love to do and be paid well for it.  (In case you didn’t catch on, I’m talking about playing with you sissy assed motherfuckers for a living.)

6)     I’m thankful form Feeldoe double ended dildos.  They’re like strapless strap-ons and great for pegging a sissy and just using that boi-cunt while I… um.. ahem.  Yes, well, I think you get the picture.

7)      I’m thankful for Dominant men who go sissy hunting with me and make for a good time whether we find a fuck toy to play with or not.  For those who think a Mistress needs a sub to enjoy herself, you’ve clearly never seen the heat two sexual alphas can create when they go at it together.

8)      I’m thankful for the internet and all the technology that allows me to work from home and reach sissy bois and submissives I would never be able to get to otherwise.  I’d hate to have my hunting grounds restricted to just my locale.

9)      I’m thankful for the thousands of sissies and sissy Mistresses following me on twitter and the thousands more who are on my mailing list.

10)   I’m mostly thankful for the best man in the world who accepts and encourages a partner whose lifestyle would send most men running.  He’s the reason you sissies will never be able to catch me on the phone in the evenings when he’s off work and available to spend time with.  It takes an amazing man to get past the occasional pangs of jealousy or insecurity and to know that no matter how many men are in my life, he’s the one who matters.  I’m thankful I found that in a man I admire and respect so much.

Sissy ToDo List: 55 Ways to Go Fuck Yourself

Ok Sissy, you clearly can’t get enough of that deep down, depraved sissy fucking.

sissy fuck it list You want it any way you can get it.  Lucky for you, there are so many ways to get your sissy needs, and your sissy holes, filled.

Here’s a starter list of ways to go fuck yourself.   It also works well as a list of things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

  You’re welcome, Sissy.

 

Sissy Fuckit List

  1. Shove a finger up your ringer
  2. Stuff it in a pocket pussy
  3. Pop a pen in your pooper
  4. With a hair brush handle up your hairy hole
  5. Boogie with a banana up your butt
  6. Back up to a butt plug
  7. Get it on with a glue stick
  8. Make out with a medicine bottle
  9. Zip a zucchini up that ass
  10. Lube up a lipstick tube
  11. Pump your dick between the pillows
  12. Corn-hole with a candy cane
  13. Spoon with a spoon handle
  14. Dildo your dung hole
  15. Cut a love tunnel into a honeydew
  16. Fist your dick
  17. Sit on a soda Bottle
  18. Cuddle with a carrot
  19. Flush out that cum with a toilet brush handle
  20. Cuddle with a candle
  21. Get baseball bat in your dugout
  22. Go dogging with some doggie toys
  23. Pop a popsicle in your pooper
  24. Make it with a marker
  25. Frig a flashlight
  26. Pound on a hammer handle
  27. Get it on with a condom filled with gelatin
  28. Shuck a shaver handle
  29. Cum with a cucumber
  30. Buddy up to a broom handle
  31. Stick it to a lubed up rubber glove
  32. Hum with a vibrator
  33. Cum on a condom filled with water and frozen
  34. Travel with a mini shampoo bottle
  35. Roll up with a roll of coins
  36. Cozy up to the couch cushions
  37. Ketchup with a condiment bottle
  38. Be all about the anal beads
  39. Perfume your ass with a cologne bottle
  40. Tug it with a Tenga
  41. Lay a PVC pipe
  42. Love a lint roller
  43. Fuck a Fleshlight
  44. Take a toothbrush handle
  45. Sit on a Summer squash
  46. Catch an orgasm with a fishing rod handle
  47. Cornhole yourself with a Corn cob
  48. Do a douche nozzle
  49. Screw a screwdriver handle
  50. Wave on a Magician’s Wand
  51. Sink a model submarine
  52. Slip the soap up there.
  53. Inflatable dong
  54. Beat off with a bratwurst
  55. Cum on a cock!

 

If you need more ideas, you could always check me out on Niteflirt.

Now go, be fruitful, ya fruity sissy fuck.  And have a happy Thanksgiving.

 

Open Letter to a Wannabe Sissy Idiot

Sissy Idiot Attention Seeking

Sissy Idiot LetterAs you can imagine, I get my fair share of sissy fan mail.  It’s always nice to hear from admirers and most are mature and respectful.  I have a great time chatting with people who share my interests. Anyone who follows my Twitter or my Tumblr (NTFW… AT ALL) can see how often I chat with sissies. (Go ahead, message me for yourself and see.)

That said, there’s a certain number of people determined to be a sissy idiot.  These people lack any sense of personal accountability.  Even to the extent that they won’t own what turns them on.

I get that sex is an awkward subject for many people.  I understand that religious morality sometimes conflicts with personal sexuality.  I get that it’s sometimes embarrassing.

What I don’t get is people who try to pretend they’re not sissies, even while they’re surfing the sissy sites.  What I don’t get is searching for a sissy mistress and messaging her, all the while feigning disinterest in sissification.

Doing things like this makes you a sissy idiot.

Here’s the deal, Sissy.  When you’re taking so many steps to become a sissy, it’s hard to pretend you don’t want it. We can all see through that lie like a pair of sheer stockings.

And making a big deal about how you don’t want to be seduced into it, when nobody has tried to seduce you… well, that’s just being an attention whore.

When people message me and say “I’m not into this, but tell me how you’d do it,” my answer is always “telling you how I’d do it is what I charge for.”   You may as well say “I’m not interested in buying the book, but tell me the story.”

Sissy Idiot Disappointment

I have to be honest.  If you’re a sissy idiot, I’ll disappoint you.

I don’t care to tempt any person into any act. If you want what I’m selling, I’m happy to offer it. If you don’t, I respect that.  I don’t care to push my brand of kink on anyone.  Just like I don’t want anyone pushing their kind of strange on me.  I’m sorry, but I just don’t care any more than I care if you like tea while I like coffee.  We don’t all have to drink from the same damned cup.

Most importantly, I don’t care.

I have thousands of customers.  If I just let them know I have new sissy mp3s out, dozens will buy. Why would I spend time trying to convince one person to buy anything?

Look, there are plenty of people who are into the whole “seduce and destroy” kink.  I’m not one of them.  No shade to those who like it.  It’s just not my kind of strange.

If that’s what you’re looking for, I wish  you the best of luck in finding it.  I don’t think you’ll have much trouble. There are plenty of very talented Mistresses  on Niteflirt.