Kick to the Stones Soup

I think it’s clear to anyone who reads my blog or calls me, that I tend to ass fuck all men sooner or later. Even the straight guys are gonna get something up their asses, in the most heterosexual way possible, of course. But my god, the subs, the slaves, the bitch-bois and sissies, the TVs and TSs, all are getting to suck my strap-on and be trained for the real thing. The pain sluts are gonna get the BIG mother fuckin cherry poppin dildo and the puppy-boys and pony-boys, well, they’re gonna get puppy tail and horse tail butt plugs.

Um… I got myself a little carried away there. Ahem..

Anyway, my point is, it’s a regular preference of mine and I indulge in it frequently.. but I’m in the mood for a more even mix today. Today, the asses presented to me will likely get fucks, yes, but they’ll be whipped, scratched, written on in permanent marker, branded, spit on, and presented to the general public as well, just to name a few.

Consider yourself warned, there will be pain, humiliation, and servitude for all.  I like to think of it as my own little Femdom Valhalla.

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Stupidly Asked Questions

Ok folks, this has been a long time coming.. a list of my Top Ten Stupidly Asked Questions

1)      Can I call you?

This has to be the most profoundly stupid and frequently asked question I receive.  To make matters worse, the situation more ridiculous, it usually comes from someone who actually clicked a call status button that says “Away: Send Mail”

I make myself available for calls, Monday through Friday from Midnight to 6am.  Sometimes you’ll be lucky and I’ll turn on my phone an hour or two earlier, or stay logged in for a couple of hours longer, but those are the hours I set aside for losers and submissives.

For those of you who don’t understand how the dates work, when I say Monday from Midnight to six am.. I mean that on Sunday evening, as 11:59, you can start dialing and by the time you’re done making arrangements to pay me, I’ll be there.  Conversely, if you think you’re going to find me sitting by the phone for you on a Friday night, you’ve missed your shot, and you’re not very bright.

Another tip, if you are on my website or on any of my listings, there is a gray call button.. it will either say “Away: Send Mail” or it will say “Call Now.”  If you click the away button so that you can email me and ask if you can call, I will charge you a stupid tax.

2)      How can I meet you?

You can’t.  This is non-negotiable.  I only accept face to face clients who come to me with a recommendation from friends in the industry and/or scene, and I’m not going to tell you who my friends are.

3)      Will you do fantasies with underage role play/incest/scat/watersports/bestiality/snuff/bloodplay/other extreme torture?

Much as I would love to degrade and abuse you in every filthy way, poppet, it would go against the Terms of Service for the NiteFlirt billing platform I use.  If that’s what you’re looking for, I wish you the best of luck in finding it elsewhere.  If you’d still like to give me a call, I’m usually able to find a fantasy that mimics the feel of your taboo fantasy, without the actual taboo element, but be aware, you will never have me calling you Daddy or talking about the new tricks I taught my pet Mastiff.

4)      Did I see you at…?

If you did, I will never, never admit that it was me.

5)       Do you really like all this stuff?

Yes, especially the part where I charge a stupid tax for questions like that.

6)       Do you do cam shows?

Do you see any links on my site or listings for cam shows?  No.  I live in the US where website creators are legally bound to post record keeping information for things like that.  I work from home, so no, I won’t be doing cam shows where I would have to post my address as the location where my records are kept.

7)      Will you watch me on cam?

If I’m on the phone with you, I have no objection to logging on and seeing as well as hearing what a loser you are.  Understand that my window will close the moment your payment runs out and I will not respond to your IMs before or after calls.  If you try to IM me when you’re not paying for a session, you will be blocked.

8)       Do you think my penis is small?

Oh god, the answer will always be yes, but this is just a lame attempt for some waste of a scrotum to flash his itty-bitties and seek out a freebie dose of humiliation.  Guess what?  I don’t respond to shit like that.  I do, however, sometimes visit  http://www.ratemypindick.com and entertain myself at the expense of some micro-dicks posted there.  Go ahead and post, I’ll be along soon to laugh at you.  If I don’t’ my girlfriends there will no doubt treat you like the clitty-cocked little loser you are

9)      If I give you information during a blackmail fantasy call, will you really use it?

I may.

I make disclaimers at the beginning of these calls, warning men not to give me any information they don’t actually want me to use.  I go on the assumption that whatever I’m told during the call is fantasy and to be treated as such.  This means I may use the information I’m given, like email addresses  for example, but it also means once the call is ended and I’m no longer being paid, I’ll forget about you before the dial tone hits my ear.

I have, in the past, sent off pictures and information to email addresses callers have claimed were to wives, girlfriends, bosses, friends, and family.  I’ve also posted pointed information to websites, forums, and blogs, that might not identify my callers but would make sure anyone who knew them would recognize who the posts were about.

10)   Can I buy your shoes/stockings/panties etc?

You may.   Prices depend on a few things, including the cost of the item to begin with.  You will never get my Prada pumps until you’re prepared to buy me a new pair I like better.  Expect to pay at least $20 for a pair of panties or stockings, plus shipping.

Mistress Shayna is above and beyond the average cocktease. Check out her Tease and Denial, humiliating phone sex.

The Boys Are Back, Stock Up On Ass Lube, Bitches

Ok, so some of you have been threatened with the old double-stuff from my darling cabana boys.  Well bitches, they’re back, and eager for me to let them play with one of my fuck-toys.  They came baring such lovely presents for me,  I could hardly say no, now could I?  Why it would be downright rude to deny them the simple pleasures of pressing their cocks together, one from in front and the other in back, and double fucking some poor cumslut‘s ass.

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The More You Know

The difference between a strap-on and a Feeldoe or a Nexxus is whether the wearer is being penetrated… the Feeldoe and Nexxus are strapless strap-ons.. they are double ended dildos that are bent in the middle so that one end goes up into the  woman and the other end juts out between her lips like a big, silicone cock growing there.

The important part for the person being fucked is that when I’m using the feeldoe, I’m using them as a hole to fuck, a way to get myself off.  When I’m using the traditional strap-on.. I’m just trying to hurt their ass, train them up into good little whores.

This has been a Ds public service announcement.  “The more you know.”  Cue the stars.

Makes you want more, doesn’t it? Come and get your Mistress Phone Sex,then.

Giddyup

I’ve been hanging out with a Dom who’s into pony-play… talking about  it put me in the mood again.  It’ been a long time since I’ve dug my heels in a pony-boy‘s  flanks.  I love the whole thing, the grooming, the cooing and petting.  I love dressing them in the harness and putting my ponyboy on a lunge-line as I crack the lunge-whip. Most of all, of course, I love to mount them them and ride with my thighs clinging tight and my crop marking their asses.  I pity the pony-Masters and pony-Mistresses with girly mounts who can’t be ridden.  They’re missing half the experience.

Hmmmmmm…. sombody’s gonna get saddled up soon.

Got your panties in a twist? There’s always Mistress Shayna’s Sissy Phone Sex.